Making Conflict Transformational: Strategy #3 – Pray through the Conflict

One of the challenges with talking about steps to resolving conflict and even making it transformational is that conflict is messy, chaotic, and often doesn’t proceed in an orderly fashion. Perhaps, you’re in a difficult conflict right now and you don’t have much hope for a good resolution.

The God who created and sustains the universe is our loving Father who wants to help us work through life’s challenges. The Holy Spirit counsels, comforts, and convicts. In God we have an Almighty, all-caring ally who can give us wisdom and strength and who delights in taking broken and hopeless situations and people, and transforming them.

It seems like God often waits to move in our lives until we recognize our own inability to solve the problem. As we acknowledge that our human resources are insufficient, we recognize that God and His resources are more than enough to change hearts, mend relationships, and bring about transformation. So, in desperation, we pray. We seek God’s face. We confess our sins. We ask him to heal us and others involved in the conflict. We expect miracles because our God can do far more than we could ever ask or imagine according to His power that is at work within us.

Now, I realize that with longstanding conflict, we can become weary in prayer, especially if it doesn’t look like there’s any progress or perhaps it seems like the conflict is getting worse. Keep praying. Even if we don’t see the results we’re hoping for, persistent prayer about the conflict does several things. I believe that God honors persevering prayer. In addition, as we pray, we’re exercising faith. We’re giving the conflict over to God and trusting Him to work things out in His ways and in His timing. As we pray with a thankful heart, we can experience God’s peace even during tumultuous conflict.

It’s also helpful to get others praying for the conflict and the people involved. There’s something powerful about groups of people agreeing about something in prayer.

If the conflict is stubborn or enduring, I’d also encourage you to consider adding fasting to your prayer regime. When we deny ourselves in a particular area, like eating food, so that we can focus on God and His priorities, it seems to add weight to our prayers as they’re more in line with God’s desires. One person once said to me that when his group added fasting to their prayers, it was like adding jet fuel to the mix.

When it comes to transforming conflict into something good, prayer must always be a central strategy.

Blogs in the Making Conflict Transformational Series:

Overview of the Six Steps to Making Conflict Transformational

Step #1 - Recognize that Conflict is Necessary

Step #2 - Identify the Type of Conflict and Intensity Factors

Step #3 - Pray Through the Conflict

Step #4 - Check Your Own Heart 

Step #5 - Understand Your Approach to Conflict

Step #6 - Build Pathways of Peace

Dr. Randy Wollf is Associate Professor of Practical Theology and Leadership Studies at MB Seminary (part of ACTS Seminaries of Trinity Western University) and Director of MinistryLift. Randy has also served as a pastor, church planter, and missionary.