Making Conflict Transformational: Step #2 – Identify the Type of Conflict and the Intensity Factors

Imagine that you’re in a group situation with people you’ve known for a long time. You notice that there’s tension and in fact, as you think about it, you recognize that there’s been this underlying tension for quite a while that sometimes erupts in heated interactions.

Whenever we feel this kind of tension, it’s important to identify the type of conflict. How important is this conflict? Where is the collision taking place? Is it simply around inconsequential opinions or are there deeper values, beliefs, and assumptions at play?

Bernard Mayer, in his book Staying with Conflict, identifies six types of interpersonal conflict.

Low-Impact Conflict

Low-impact conflict does not typically have long-term implications. Arguing over what kind of pizza to order is probably not going to be earth-shattering in most situations. With these kinds of conflicts, it’s helpful to recognize their trivial nature and not to engage in them as if they are more important than they are in reality. Of course, with any conflict, how we express ourselves can escalate the conflict and cause harm to others and to relationships within the group.

Latent Conflict

Latent conflict is conflict that is simmering below the surface. It’s something that you can usually sense, but are not sure what it’s all about. For example, you walk into a room filled with people and sense something is just off with the group dynamics. You can’t put your finger on where it’s coming from, but you know it’s there. For this type of conflict, Mayer says that the conditions out of which conflict could arise are present; they just haven’t manifested themselves as a presenting issue or event. As we encounter these kinds of situations, it’s important that we pay careful attention to group dynamics and even ask probing questions that begin to uncover the deeper issues that are causing the tension. 

Transient Conflict

Transient conflict typically comes out of temporary situations. For example, let’s say your organization or ministry is going through an evaluation process. During the process, it has become clear that some people do not like the way the external facilitator is directing the process. In this case, the conflict is mainly over facilitation style that will likely go away once the evaluation process is over and the facilitator has left. Now, this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t deal with the conflict. However, recognizing that the conflict is transient allows us to assess how much we should invest in resolving a tension that will likely disappear in the near future. Of course, even with transient conflict, we need to be aware that it can morph into long-term conflict if people say or do things that create interpersonal rifts.

Representational Conflict

Representational conflict is a type of conflict that epitomizes a deeper issue. For example, let’s say that people in your church have different preferences related to worship service music. Now, this could simply be a conflict over music styles. Yet, often there are deeper values that are at odds with one another. One group might value contemplative corporate worship while another might prefer more expressive corporate worship. Robert Webber, in his book The Younger Evangelicals, describes three major worldviews within North American Christianity. These values-based worldviews influence our preferences. As we explore these differing values and build awareness and respect around these values, we’re in a much better place to engage in conflict that is not just about opinions; it’s about the things that are deeply important to us.

Stubborn Conflict

Stubborn conflict, as the name suggests, is persistent and difficult to resolve. The issues are often complex, the emotions are high, and the communication styles of those involved inadequate for moving the conflict toward a helpful resolution. In subsequent blogs, I’ll explore steps for addressing these kinds of entrenched conflicts.

Enduring Conflict

Enduring conflict is longstanding conflict with little or no hope of resolution. The conflict persists, not because those involved lack the requisite skills for addressing deep conflict. These disputes, as Mayer says, are “embedded in structures, systems, values, or identity…Until the roots of the conflict change, the system evolves, or the identity- or value-based elements are profoundly transformed, the conflict will remain” (p. 24). There is a unique set of skills and attitudes required to deal with enduring conflict, which I will cover in the Enduring Conflict blog.   

So, thinking about these six types of conflict, what are the contributing factors that can ignite and add fuel to these conflict situations? Allan Simpson and Darrin Hotte, in their Workbook for Engaging Conflict, suggest that there are five major causes of conflict. Many times, conflict arises out of a misunderstanding. Sometimes, people have different values that collide in particular situations. Disputants may have mismatched needs and as a result, compete over things like money, time, or other limited resources. Of course, conflict sometimes emerges because of diverse perspectives. These tend to be ideas-based conflicts, which can be very productive. However, they can also escalate into unhealthy conflict if not handled appropriately. Simpson and Hotte also recognize that low relational capacity can also foster conflict. Stress from other areas of our lives might reduce our ability to be kind, empathetic, and collaborative. Certain types of mental illness might also affect someone’s capacity to interact in ways that minimize the possibility of harmful conflict.

Simpson and Hotte contend that conflict escalates when bystanders become involved and take sides, when one or both parties feels threatened by the other, when there is no interest or investment in maintaining the relationship, when there is an increase in the acting out of anger, fear, or frustration, and when important needs involved are not acknowledged or met.

On the flip side, Simpson and Hotte maintain that conflict deescalates when those involved focus on the problem instead of each other, when emotions of anger, fear or frustration are expressed directly rather than demonstrated indirectly, when real and perceived threats are eliminated or at least addressed, and when needs are openly discussed and acknowledged.

So, as we think about the different types of conflict and what contributes to their escalation and de-escalation, it’s helpful to recognize our mindset and the mindset of others engaged in the conflict. What are we and they prepared to give to resolve the conflict? What do we want to achieve through the conflict? Drawing on Simpson and Hotte once again, they describe five kinds of mindsets. The first approach says, “I want to work on this with you and come to a mutually beneficial resolution.” This kind of mindset can go a long way in helping to facilitate a healthy resolution. The second approach says, “I’m right and you’re wrong.” With this approach, the disputant wants to come out looking good. The third approach is similar, except that the disputant wants to win even if the other person looks bad. The fourth approach features one person actually wanting to hurt the other person through actions or escaping while the fifth approach moves from wanting to hurt the other person to saying, “I will hurt you.”

Okay. So, you’re in a conflict situation. You’ve identified the type of conflict. Let’s say that it’s a stubborn one, which has been going on for a long time and yet you see some potential for a resolution. You’ve identified some of the contributing factors like underlying values or low relational capacity because of other life stressors. You’ve recognized that you’ve done some things which have actually escalated the conflict, but you’re also more aware of what you can do to scale back the intensity level. In the midst of all this, you’ve come to the realization that your approach is one where you believe you’re right and you want to win the conflict. All these insights are important as you bathe the situation in prayer and check your own heart, essential parts of making conflict transformational that I’ll explore in the next blog.

Blogs in the Making Conflict Transformational Series:

Overview of the Six Steps to Making Conflict Transformational

Step #1 - Recognize that Conflict is Necessary

Step #2 - Identify the Type of Conflict and Intensity Factors

Step #3 - Pray Through the Conflict

Step #4 - Check Your Own Heart 

Step #5 - Understand Your Approach to Conflict

Step #6 - Build Pathways of Peace

Dr. Randy Wollf is Associate Professor of Practical Theology and Leadership Studies at MB Seminary (part of ACTS Seminaries of Trinity Western University) and Director of MinistryLift. Randy has also served as a pastor, church planter, and missionary.