pray

One of the challenges with talking about steps to resolving conflict and even making it transformational is that conflict is messy, chaotic, and often doesn’t proceed in an orderly fashion. Perhaps, you’re in a difficult conflict right now and you don’t have much hope for a good resolution.

The God who created and sustains the universe is our loving Father who wants to help us work through life’s challenges. The Holy Spirit counsels, comforts, and convicts. In God we have an Almighty, all-caring ally who can give us wisdom and strength and who delights in taking broken and hopeless situations and people, and transforming them.

It seems like God often waits to move in our lives until we recognize our own inability to solve the problem. As we acknowledge that our human resources are insufficient, we recognize that God and His resources are more than enough to change hearts, mend relationships, and bring about transformation. So, in desperation, we pray. We seek God’s face. We confess our sins. We ask him to heal us and others involved in the conflict. We expect miracles because our God can do far more than we could ever ask or imagine according to His power that is at work within us.

Now, I realize that with longstanding conflict, we can become weary in prayer, especially if it doesn’t look like there’s any progress or perhaps it seems like the conflict is getting worse. Keep praying. Even if we don’t see the results we’re hoping for, persistent prayer about the conflict does several things. I believe that God honors persevering prayer. In addition, as we pray, we’re exercising faith. We’re giving the conflict over to God and trusting Him to work things out in His ways and in His timing. As we pray with a thankful heart, we can experience God’s peace even during tumultuous conflict.

It’s also helpful to get others praying for the conflict and the people involved. There’s something powerful about groups of people agreeing about something in prayer.

I believe most small group leaders spend too much of their prep time on the study. I don’t say this because I don’t believe group studies have value, but because they don’t hold more value than other parts of a group meeting. Jim Egli and Dwight Marable’s research findings show that time spent preparing lessons has absolutely no correlation to any group growth outcomes. If you want to lead a group that is healthy and growing, you need to prepare for your entire meeting and not just your study. Here are five ways to allocate your time to make a lasting difference: 

Pray

The biggest different between groups that grow and groups that don’t is a leader who prays. Egli and Marable conclude that it’s much more important to prepare your heart than it is to prepare your notes.

Before you start praying for your group members, you might find it helpful to pray for the various things that are on your mind first. This will help you settle your thoughts so you can then focus on the people in your group (Simple Prayer is an easy way to do this). Once you’ve done this, pray for the people in your group and the various things they’re facing. You’ll be surprised by the amount of things God will prompt you to pray about.

Pray for the people that your group members share their lives with (family, co-workers, neighbours, teachers, etc.). Pray that God will bring new people to your group. Pray that your meeting times will be impactful and inspirational. Pray for the health and unity of your church.

Make a point of telling your group that you regularly pray for them and then ask them what they would like you to pray about. They’ll feel encouraged, you’ll learn more about them, and your relationship will grow.   

Connect with group members

Experiencing community is an expectation that many people have of their small group. For all the good that can happen in group meetings, it can be challenging to schedule “community building time” into your agenda. You can certainly choose activities that will encourage a sense of community, but this can’t be forced.   

Note: This topic of strengthening prayer in your church is one of eleven essential elements for maximizing discipleship in your church described in Dr. Randy Wollf's video course, Developing a Discipleship Strategy for Your Church.

It’s five years from now. Amazingly, your church has grown incredibly in the area of prayer. People are setting aside time each day to pray. They’re worshipping Him throughout the day. You see life groups and ministry groups making prayer a central part of their group time. You see a church where God is doing amazing things as He responds to the prayers of His people.

Sound exciting? How do we realize this kind of vision? Here are nine ways to strengthen prayer in your church:

#1 – Enlarge People’s Vision for Prayer

How do we challenge people to grow deeper in prayer? Preaching and teaching on prayer can definitely help. In addition, here is an idea that can blow away people’s conceptions about how God can respond to prayer today. Tell people about some of the spiritual revivals that have happened over the past 300 years (for starters, see The Role of Prayer in Spiritual Awakening video or text version). Knowing how God has responded to concerted, extraordinary prayer in the recent past can inspire us to pray in focused and persistent ways today.

#2 – Equip People to Pray

Most Christians know how to ask God for stuff. Yet, do we truly practice thankfulness, confession, and adoration of God? Do we realize deep down that the goal is not just to pray for a set period each day (as good as that is), but to develop a lifestyle of prayer?