rebuild trust

In the previous blogs in the Making Conflict Transformational series, we’ve explored how conflict is necessary. As hard as it may be to see in the moment, it’s really a gift that can stimulate personal and interpersonal transformation.

We’ve looked at various types of conflicts and the intensity factors that can raise the stakes in a conflict situation.

We’ve seen how prayer is absolutely critical as it’s the Holy Spirit who does the deep, heart transformation, something even more possible when we’re desperate for God to intervene. Many of our stubborn conflicts really do need a miracle to turn them around.

Partnering with the Holy Spirit in checking our hearts can often lead to personal transformation, a better perspective on the conflict, and greater capacity to move forward with courage and love.

Of course, we all have a default approach to conflict. In addition, other internal and external factors affect the way we respond. Being aware of our default approach and these other factors can help us to maximize the positive influences while monitoring and moderating the negative ones.

The goal in any conflict situation is to be a peacemaker. In this session, we’ll look at how peacemakers build pathways of peace by rebuilding trust, resolving issues, reconcile hearts and restore relations.

Rebuild Trust

If you’re like me, you don’t naturally gravitate toward conflict. In fact, my inclination is to head for the hills when I see conflict brewing.

Yet, I’m learning that conflict represents an opportunity – an opportunity for transformation and growth. The crucible of conflict often refines ideas and character, and deepens relationships. Of course, conflict can also undermine, paralyze, and even destroy. So, what can we do to increase the chances that the conflicts we face become transformational? In this blog, I’ll present an overview of six steps for making conflict transformational, which I will then explore in greater depth in subsequent blogs.

Recognize that Conflict is Necessary

Just like our muscles need tension and resistance to stay healthy and become stronger, so we, as humans, need the kind of tension that conflict provides to grow and develop. Of course, conflict is not the only source of this kind of tension, but it does have a way of grabbing our attention.

Identify the Type of Conflict and the Factors that Influence the Intensity of the Conflict

What’s at stake here? Is this a, “What kind of pizza should we order?” kind of conflict or is it something more substantive? If it’s something serious, then what are the underlying causes of the conflict?  So often we try to deal with the surface tension and fail to address the deeper clashes around values, beliefs, and assumptions. As we peel away the layers, it’s important to recognize and manage the factors that can escalate or deescalate the tension.

Bathe the Situation in Prayer