We all know a leader who has made a major mistake. Perhaps this very thought reminds you of the story of your former pastor. Or maybe the leader of a well-known organization. Perhaps you instinctively think of what’s happening in your church right now. Or you might dwell on the regret that you’re currently trying to fix. 

Mistakes come in different shapes and sizes, but each one has something in common: whenever a leader makes a mistake, the trust that person had with their followers is damaged. Warren Buffet has famously said, “It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it.” But how does his comment relate to trust? How can a leader rebuild trust after any mistake, regardless of its size? 

Most of us can agree there’s a wide gap between honest mistakes and moral failures. However, whenever a leader is slow to admit a mistake that appears to be harmless, the distance to moral failure begins to shrink. 

We can likely agree that embezzling money and double-booking a meeting are examples that are grossly disproportionate to each other. And yet, they also share something significant. They raise questions; and for good reason! Followers want to know—they need to know—if they can trust a leader again. This is the motivation behind the inquiries that must surely follow.

When I’m in the position of “needing to know,” I find myself asking two primary questions—no matter the size of the mistake that a leader has made.

Why did this mistake happen?

I want to know why a mistake occurred because I want to understand the leader’s heart. Was this a simple error or was it calculated? Has this happened before and does the leader have a plan—and the necessary support—to keep it from happening again? 

Understandably, some leaders can feel uncomfortable disclosing these details and there are times when some information cannot be shared publicly. But the details aren’t as important as what they reveal. My primary concern is the systemic issues that may have led to a leader’s mistake. This helps me consider if the leader is willing to examine these elements and work with others to build a healthier system.

Part of my analysis is motivated by a fear I am consciously aware of, but cautious to verbalize. Is this leader likely to make a future mistake that is even more damaging than this one?

I’ve never heard of a church that has too many small group leaders. Too many ushers? Maybe. Too many musicians? Possibly. Too many small group leaders? Highly unlikely.

And yet, I know many churches that have grand visions for their small group ministry. Statements like, “we want to be a church of small groups” or “we want everyone to be in a small group.” All of them? Wouldn’t this require a massive influx of group leaders?

Herein lies the problem—you can’t multiply small groups if you don’t have small group leaders. For as motivated as some people may be to join a small group, their ambition will come to a screeching halt when they discover that the bus they’re about to board is missing its driver. 

Small group leaders don’t just appear—they must be developed.

But developing small group leaders comes with a set of challenges. Beyond the obvious task of equipping individuals for this position is another hurdle you might have to clear—most people don’t want to lead small groups. And the reason they don’t want to lead is directly tied to the expectations they believe a small group leader needs to fulfill. Many people feel that leading a small group:

• Is categorially different than participating in a small group
• Requires significant biblical knowledge and theological training 
• Requires a lot of preparation time 
• Is an unending commitment
• Is a solo act 

Expectations of small group leaders may extend beyond this list, but these five make a sufficient point—there are many valid reasons why people don’t want to lead small groups. And these objections don’t necessarily mean that a person is less committed to discipleship. They’re simply considering if the role is a good fit (to which they should be commended).

Depending on how your small group ministry is structured, you might be able to lessen the objections that potential leaders might have. Maybe group leaders are provided with teaching curriculum to follow or maybe there’s a designated time for groups to break or disband.

It’s possible that you can convince people to lead small groups and that you can develop creative ways to limit the obstacles. But this approach will leave you wondering if these groups will be led with the appropriate amount of passion that comes when the right people are leading from the right positions. 

I believe most small group leaders spend too much of their prep time on the study. I don’t say this because I don’t believe group studies have value, but because they don’t hold more value than other parts of a group meeting. Jim Egli and Dwight Marable’s research findings show that time spent preparing lessons has absolutely no correlation to any group growth outcomes. If you want to lead a group that is healthy and growing, you need to prepare for your entire meeting and not just your study. Here are five ways to allocate your time to make a lasting difference: 

Pray

The biggest different between groups that grow and groups that don’t is a leader who prays. Egli and Marable conclude that it’s much more important to prepare your heart than it is to prepare your notes.

Before you start praying for your group members, you might find it helpful to pray for the various things that are on your mind first. This will help you settle your thoughts so you can then focus on the people in your group (Simple Prayer is an easy way to do this). Once you’ve done this, pray for the people in your group and the various things they’re facing. You’ll be surprised by the amount of things God will prompt you to pray about.

Pray for the people that your group members share their lives with (family, co-workers, neighbours, teachers, etc.). Pray that God will bring new people to your group. Pray that your meeting times will be impactful and inspirational. Pray for the health and unity of your church.

Make a point of telling your group that you regularly pray for them and then ask them what they would like you to pray about. They’ll feel encouraged, you’ll learn more about them, and your relationship will grow.   

Connect with group members

Experiencing community is an expectation that many people have of their small group. For all the good that can happen in group meetings, it can be challenging to schedule “community building time” into your agenda. You can certainly choose activities that will encourage a sense of community, but this can’t be forced.